


Ora Esisti Solo Tu

by Love_Laugh_Live



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Italian song, Oneshot, Set after 1x13, Songfic, don't worry lyrics are translated, established wayhaught, mention of Waverly's and Champ's relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-29 23:20:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10147052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_Laugh_Live/pseuds/Love_Laugh_Live
Summary: Waverly reflects on her relationships, the one with Champ and the one with Nicole...SongFic to Bianca Atzei - Ora Esisti Solo Tu (Now Only You Exist)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody! This is my first Wayhaught fanfic and the first fanfic I've written since 2009. I finally started writing again after 8 years and I decided to publish this piece. I discovered this fandom randomly, to be honest, and I have been hooked ever since.  
> About the background to this story: Soooo, the Sanremo music festival in Italy ended a few weeks ago, and this song has stuck in my head since then and when I heard the lyrics, I immediately thought about Wayhaught and how much it suits them. When asked about the meaning behind this song, the singer, Bianca Atzei said: 
> 
> “It’s about two stories, one that ended and another one that has just begun. The protagonist breaks with a tormented love and is then looking for stability and balance. Then she finds someone who makes her understand that she is far more worth than having to suffer so much and instead makes her feel good.”
> 
> The two stories reminded me of Waverly’s relationships, especially the blossoming one with Nicole. Waverly breaks up with Champ and breaks out of this vicious cycle that makes her unhappy and she finds Nicole who gives her a sense of stability and opens her a door to new possibilities, so I had to write this piece.   
> The translation of the lyrics is done by me, I didn’t take any translations from a website.  
> I apologize in advance for any mistakes regarding the spelling or the grammar, I may be an English undergrad student but English is not my first language.
> 
> I haven’t published something in a long, long time but I had to share this with you guys. I hope you enjoy it. I strongly recommend listening to this song while, before or after reading, it’s beautiful (and Italian is a wonderful language ;).

Ti sembra strano lo capisco

**(It seems weird to you, I understand)**

ma era passato tanto tempo

**(but so much time has passed)**

da quel sapore così dolce

**(since that oh so sweet flavor)**

che lascia una carezza addosso

**(that leaves a caress on your skin)**

 

**The sunlight shining through one of the blinds is what makes Waverly’s eyes open, warily. The sunlight is warm on her arm but she is also surrounded by another heat source. She rubs her eyes, careful not to move so much to not wake the sleeping person partly beside, partly beneath her and she smiles looking up at her. She has her head on her girlfriend's chest, right where her heart would be and is curled into the side of her girlfriend  who is still sleeping soundly. With her eyes closed, and the red hair splayed out on the pillow, Nicole looks so peaceful. Chest rhythmically rising and sinking, arm around Waverly’s shoulder, she looks so…pure. It's the only word Waverly can come up with in that moment.**

**She thinks back to last night: it wasn’t anything like a fancy date, nevertheless it still felt the same to Waverly. Every second spent together with Nicole is special. Yesterday she was at Nicole’s where they had a quick dinner and watched a movie and then they just went to sleep in the very same position she found herself right now in. She thinks about how she can just sleep with Nicole,**

**how Nicole told her that Waverly sets the pace in their relationship,**

**how Nicole would never, ever allow Waverly to do something she feels obligated to do,**

**how Nicole always asks Waverly for her consent, her permission for every little thing or touch, be it through a look or a question,**

**how Nicole told her that she wants Waverly in any way she can have her,**

**how Nicole told her to not pressure herself into having sex with her,**

**how Nicole told Waverly she doesn’t have to put out to keep Nicole interested,**

**how Nicole told her that they have all the time in the world,**

**how Nicole makes her feel so safe and protected and comfortable and…**

**Somehow ironically, as her mind is almost filled to the brim with everything Nicole, Waverly can’t herself but think back to her last relationship with Champ. With Champ, she couldn’t just sleep or even cuddle. With Champ, it was mostly always about the physical aspect of their relationship. Sure, she liked it too but it was always about his pleasure and Waverly just obliged, feeling like it was her duty to keep him as her boyfriend. It was an easy deal: he was her high school sweetheart, her boyfriend, the one constant in her life and she just had to have sex with him to keep him happy. That she more often than not wasn’t on the receiving end, didn’t matter to her.  He cheated, yeah, multiple times, yeah, but he always came back to her.**

**_“You know, you’ll always be the keeper of my boner_.” As he said that, she cringed and even thinking back about it, it made her cringe, again.**

**Waverly is sure that Champ did love her at some point, in some way, he was the only one to ignore all the craziness about her family and made an effort to get to know the girl regardless of the circumstances. And for this, she also loved him, at some point, in some way… a few years ago.**

**With Nicole, it is so different, so easy. The day before is the perfect example for that. When they got into bed, they talked, shared a few kisses and then went to sleep. That’s just it. And Waverly felt content. It was enough, for the both of them. Waverly is experiencing a feeling that stems from deeply within, a warmth that fills every inch of her body and it makes her skin tingle in a good way. With Nicole, she shares something that she could never find in Champ: an emotional connection. She and Nicole can talk about literally anything: their pasts, their dreams, their families, their jobs, their favorite TV series and now even about the Earp curse. She is worried that working for the Black Badge division might be too much for Nicole. Not because she thinks Nicole isn’t a good police officer, quite the opposite. She’s just worried that Nicole is underestimating the dimension of it. She already had one encounter that got her killed. A shudder runs through Waverly at that thought. It was for only a few seconds but still… Nicole had to be resuscitated on site, she was dead, gone. The small scar over Nicole’s eyebrow is faintly visible. Her reminder of her encounter with a revenant. Waverly felt the tears prick at the corner of her eyes but she managed to calm herself down and looked up at Nicole, reassuring herself, that Nicole is right here with her, her heartbeat being proof.**

_“Waverly Earp, smiling at me from her front porch”_

**Even in the hospital, she was on Nicole’s mind. After being brought back to life, having suffered some injuries, still a little bit dizzy, her mind foggy, she was the first and last thought on Nicole’s mind.**

 

Quel mio carattere un po’ schivo

**(That unruly character of mine)**

l’ho sotterrato già da un pezzo

**(I have buried some time ago)**

e non è neanche più un ricordo

**(and is not even a memory anymore)**

 

**Nicole adores her, that much she knows. Even Doc could see it and said it. Her memory went back to that day.**

_She and Wynonna entered the station, Wynonna heading for Doll’s office and Waverly heading straight to Nicole._

_“Ok, so where we? Because I seem to think it was something about candles, you trying to get me into a sexy black dress-” She heard Nicole’s smooth voice, dripping confidence, in the midst of her thought chaos,_

_“- something is wrong” And just like that, mood change. How Nicole was able to tell by her composure and the look on her face, her straying gaze that something was definitely not right, also implying that she will do everything to help Waverly in any way she can_

_“A lot of things might be wrong…Dolls and Wynonna and her gun” At that, Waverly closed her eyes, interlaced her fingers together, as if she’s praying and then positioning them so that the fingertips are touching._

_“Ok, what’s the deal with that gun anyway?” How she wanted to tell Nicole everything about the curse in that moment but then they were interrupted by the notification that Doc was driving erratically on the highway._

_And then she remembered how she practically marched to the pink car on the highway, even though Nicole had told her to stay in the car, trying to convince Doc to stay because he became something like a friend, a brotherly figure to her._

_“Look, we need you, okay?  She needs you”_

_“No, she has Dolls”_

_“Can’t you at least try? You know I’m trying with Nicole?”_

_“The difference is: she adores you back” She understood that “adores” is Doc’s equivalent for “loves”. Maybe it is because of his age that he speaks with a touch of tentativeness about these matters._

**And how Nicole does adore Waverly, ever since she first saw her. It was always conveyed in every one of Nicole’s looks, in her smiles or in her touches. And Waverly adores Nicole. She loves Nicole. In the few months they’ve known each other, she fell for Nicole. She couldn’t really help herself, her heart was filled with so much love for Nicole that she slowly removed her arm from Nicole’s stomach and lifted her head enough to plant a featherlight kiss on Nicole’s cheek.  Then, she stands up, looks another few seconds at her girlfriend and then goes to the kitchen where she proceeds to make breakfast.**

**Waverly knows she is stubborn, how she ignored Nicole’s orders that day but ever since then, Waverly feels much more at ease. She is calmer. The situations where she just wants to pull out her shotgun are becoming very rare nowadays.**

 

Voglio soltanto dirti tutto quello

**( I just want to tell you)**

che mi passa per la mente

**(everything that is running through my mind)**

voglio fregarmene di tutto ciò che poi

**(I don’t wanna give a damn about)**

che poi dirà la gente

**(what people are gonna say)**

 

**As she is preparing them breakfast, Waverly considers writing down her thoughts for Nicole, maybe a letter to Nicole or a letter only for Waverly to read because Nicole makes her so happy and all the thoughts are on the verge of spilling out, so why not on paper? They are good thoughts and make her happy, so why not have a reminder of that, something she can always look back on. She is happy and everyone in Purgatory knows that since Champ outed them during that party.**

_“… she is dating a cop” and the hiding game was over, in front of almost the whole town. Waverly was a little scared what people might think about it especially because it was new territory for her. So them being outed by her ex-boyfriend in front of Nicole’s boss and some other inhabitants a Purgatory was not really her ideal of going public about her relationship. She’d rather preferred to explore more about their relationship while being in their own little bubble, see it from different angles, just like the researcher she is. Sheriff Nedley’s response “Well, I guess that would be their own private business” snapped her out of it. He was right, it is just between Nicole and her._

**Nicole makes her happy and she couldn’t really care less about what people might say.**

Ma ti rendi conto amore

**(Are you aware, love)**

che da quando stiamo insieme

**(That since we’ve been together)**

non esiste più una nuvola

**(There hasn’t been a single cloud)**

che gran voglia di partire

**(Feeling so much like travelling)**

che gran voglia di ballare

**(Feeling so much like dancing)**

fino a notte profondissima

**(until the deepest of the night)**

**She just can’t stop smiling. Even from negative memories something positive came out and mostly it is shaped like the red-haired, tall woman with the dimpled smile lying in her bed. She finds herself wanting everything with Nicole. She still has her dreams of travelling and seeing the world but she wants to do it with Nicole. They’ve fought so much to be with each other and they fought the revenants and from there, they went pretty stable. She turns on the radio in the kitchen and starts dancing, swaying her hips from side to side and humming to the melodies.**

E sarà che sto bene

**(And if I feel good)**

è perché non penso più

**(It is because I don’t think about)**

a chi mi ha fatto soffrire

**(who has made me suffer anymore)**

voglio solo cancellare

**(I just wanna erase)**

ora esisti solo tu

**(Now only you exist)**

**Suddenly, two arms wrap themselves around her waist, carefully, tentatively, and a head finds a place on her shoulder. Her smile spread out into a grin as she turned her head to the one placed on her shoulder to find Nicole looking at her, smiling, dimples and everything, her hair tied into a messy bun and puts her arms on top of the ones wrapped around her waist.**

**And she just takes and breathes everything in: Nicole’s scent, her smile, her touch, just her girlfriend. Being with her girlfriend in this moment, not thinking about anything, not the revenants, not their jobs, and certainly no Champ. Just being in Nicole’s arms, feeling safe, happy and loved. Another peck on Nicole’s cheek, her nose, her eyes, her forehead and lastly, she rubs their noses together and kissed her on the lips, first slowly and then with a bit more pressure. Her girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, how she’s never getting tired of saying this word.**

**The little bit of smoke coming from the pan in front of her makes her break the kiss to still save the food which she thankfully manages.**

**“Mmm Good morning” Nicole’s voice was still laced with sleep. Maybe she woke her up when she turned on the radio. She turns in Nicole’s arms to wrap her arms around her neck and to give her another kiss on the lips, maybe a small apology but more importantly just because she can and because she loves Nicole.**

**“Good morning, I hope you are hungry.”**

**“I am. Do you need help with anything?” Always so considerate. Waverly feels the warmth in her body again.**

**“Nope, just sit down.” And she makes a shooing motion with the spatula, laughing. And Nicole acts like she is afraid of being hit by the spatula and runs to the table, also laughing all the while.**

**And she brings the breakfast to the table, along with two mugs of coffee, where they have breakfast and start the day nicely. As they sit at the tables, drinking their coffee and eating their breakfast, Waverly feels Nicole’s eyes on her. “What?” “Nothing, it’s just… you’re so beautiful in the morning” Waverly feels herself blush. She still can’t get used to the fact that Nicole randomly compliments her. And she believes her because she knows that everything Nicole says comes straight from her heart. She doesn’t say things because she expects something in return. She says them because she believes them and she does everything to show Waverly that she is appreciated, adored and above all, loved. This makes Waverly giddy because she feels like a princess with Nicole.**

**Nicole then puts on her uniform and Waverly helps her, buttoning up the shirt, leaving the top two undone like Nicole always does. The hands that are settled on Nicole’s shoulders slide down to grab the sides of the shirt and she pulls Nicole down to her, kissing her with all the passion that she has. Like always they get a little carried away, kisses getting heavier, tongues massaging each other, Nicole’s hands wandering around Waverly’s waist to her hips to her butt to the side of her thighs and Waverly has to refrain from leaving a hickey on that long, pale neck. Reluctantly, Nicole breaks the kiss because she’s running late. With a kiss to Waverly’s forehead, she grabs her jacket and keys and is out of the door in a few seconds.**

 Sarò stupida e testarda

**(I will be dumb and stubborn)**

illusa, fragile ma onesta

**(illusive, fragile but honest)**

e dico senza vergognarmi

**(and I’m saying without shame)**

che questa volta è quella giusta

**(that this time it’s the right one)**

**Waverly loves how Nicole trusts her enough to leave her alone in her apartment. It almost feels like they are living together, sharing a life together. Oh, how she wants that with Nicole. She’s never wanted that as much as with Nicole. Nicole is the one and she feels it in every single inch of her body.**

**She thinks back to the time where her pride (and maybe also her insecurities) was hurt enough to deny herself this thought.**

_“I get it, you’re a lesbian not a unicorn, right?”_

_“What?”_

_“What?”_

_“You’re making fun of me?”_

_“No…Sorry, don’t you want to talk”_

_“I want the truth”_

**She remembers how she walked to the station ready and determined, all lovey-dovey smiles, to lay out all the cards for Nicole, to show her that she was ready for considering a them, a Waverly and Nicole, a relationship, and then they had this conversation where they talked about two completely different things. Now she can only smile at that but in that moment, being so carelessly brushed off by Nicole with “I want the truth” hurt. It hurt because without knowing, Nicole made her question whether the time they spent together, all the smiles, all the glances were a lie, a misinterpretation on her part. Of course it wasn’t but in that moment her insecurities took over. Coupled with a hurt pride she could mutter a “I think I’d do better with a unicorn” because walking off to the outskirts of town to cool down. But that didn’t last long because as soon as she reached the end of town, there was Nicole in her cruiser behind her and saving her the fate of freezing to death, with her charming smile she couldn’t really resist and her empty threat of using her Taser. In the car, they had a conversation that somehow was also a milestone for them.**

**_“_ ** _Ok, so I’ll start, I’m sorry for being such an asshole before”_

_“First, you wanna talk, then you don’t wanna talk, then you tell me to talk, then we talk-“_

_“Ok, well…maybe we should figure out what exactly it is we are talking about?”_

_“Gus is selling Shorty’s, she acts like she won’t but she is. Everything’s changing around me and it’s all too fast, you know? And it’s like nobody ever asks me if I’m ok with it. It’s like could everybody just stand still for one frickin’ minute?”_

_Nicole’s hand on her knee, assuring that “It’s gonna be ok” makes it hard to stay mad at her._

_“I just screamed at you, you shouldn’t be nice to me”_

_“You know what? I think you’ve been dating too many shitheads” That word made something rattle in Waverly’s brain making her act defensive._

_“We’re not dating”_

_“I know. God, Waverly I’d never ask you to be someone you’re not”_

_“Good. Just don’t ask me to be anyone at all” Deep inside of her, she believes Nicole’s words but she can’t bring herself to accept them._

_“Fine”_

_“Fine” A pause and a glance at Nicole “Well, maybe just friends”_

_A scoff “Ya, sure, Waverly, whatever you want”_

**She knew it was a defense mechanism to protect herself from any further hurt. Protecting herself hurt, though because she wanted Nicole and she hated her stubbornness in that moment. Really, it wasn’t her stubbornness. Looking back, she was dumb, illusive and fragile. How could she deny something so beautifully wonderful not only to herself but also to Nicole?  She thanks the heavens every day for Gus’ encouragement after that argument.**

_“Remember: some of the best things in life is the surprises it throws us, about what we want, who we want” Knowing wink. “You’ve always been an honest kid, don’t stop now.”_

_That was the fuel she needed as she walked to the station in a second attempt at laying out all the cards and this time she didn’t want to back down._

_“Hey Nedley out for dinner?”_

_“You mean, happy hour at Shorty’s?”_

_“Yeah”_

_“Same time, every day, kinda like clockwork”_

_Perfect. She marched into Nedley’s office, closed all the blinds, removed her jacket, while Nicole called out a “Wave”, followed her into the room and was pushed aside in Waverly’s quest “What’s your problem hmpf-“ and that was it, the moment they’ve waited so long for. It came surprising for Nicole, their first kiss. So surprising, in fact, that they fell onto the couch where Nicole put her hands on Waverly’s hips to push her away._

_“What happened to friends?” she asked, a little breathless from the kiss a few seconds ago._

_“You know what I’ve always wanted?”_

_“What?”_

_“To parachute out of a plane of 15000 feet, yeah, to swim far, far out into the ocean so that I can’t see the bottom anymore. To eat geoduck._

_“Isn’t it the one that kinda looks like a p-“_

_“Yeah, yeah it is. Point is: I’ve always wanted to do things that scared me but it’s not so easy to be brazen when the thing that you want, that scares you the death, is sitting right in front of you.”_

_“I scare you”_

_“Yes, yes you do. I don’t wanna be friends. When I think about what I wanna do most in this world, it’s you. God, that sounded more romantic in my head. Just, ah, jump in at any time, Nicole, jump in because I really don’t know how to do this.”_

_“Oh, I’m sure you do.”_

_“Maybe I should just stop talking.”_

_“See? You’re getting better already at this.” Twisting the ends of Waverly’s scarf around her hands, Nicole pulled Waverly closer to her but still letting Waverly set the pace._

_“Maybe you should stop talking, too.”_

_“Maybe you should make me” Another one of Nicole’s smirks, with dimples._

_And then there was just kissing. Full-blown, loving, passionate kissing. And a bit of wandering hands._

**This would be her favorite memory of the both of them. The day she plucked up the courage to confess her feelings. Since then, they knew that everything was going to be fine as long as they have each other. And Waverly still hopes that it was her last first kiss because she can’t imagine being with someone else anymore. Nicole is the love of her life. There are people who you build up a connection with over time, like Champ, or even Chrissy. Then there are people where the connection is just there and you don’t have to know them for a long time, like Nicole. It feels like she realized in the moment she and Nicole met, that they’ve been waiting for each other.**

 

Amore prendimi per mano

**(Love, take my hand)**

voglio correre veloce

**(I wanna run fast)**

come due pazzi verso il sole

**(Like two crazy people towards the sun)**

Voglio soltanto dirti tutto quello

**( I just want to tell you)**

che mi passa per la mente

**(everything that goes/is running through my mind)**

voglio fregarmene di tutto ciò che poi

**(I don’t wanna care about)**

che poi dirà la gente

**(what people are gonna say)**

 

**Nicoles makes her feel things she has never felt before. She makes her feel like a teenager again. She thinks about road trips and summer, about Christmas and winter. It didn’t really matter what Waverly thinks because Nicole is in every one of her fantasies. It might be crazy how she seems obsessed with the redhead but if this is what true love feels like then she takes the craziness every single day.**

**Waverly loves Nicole.**

**Nicole loves Waverly.**

**And everything is good.**  

 

Ma ti rendi conto amore

**(Are you aware, love)**

che da quando stiamo insieme

**(That since we’ve been together)**

non esiste più una nuvola

**(There hasn’t been a single cloud)**

che gran voglia di partire

**(Feeling so much like travelling)**

che gran voglia di ballare

**(Feeling so much like dancing)**

fino a notte profondissima

**(until the deepest of the night)**

 

E sarà che sto bene

**(And if I feel good)**

è perché non penso più

**(It is because I don’t think about)**

a chi mi ha fatto soffrire

**(who has made me suffer anymore)**

voglio solo cancellare

**(I just wanna erase)**

ora esisti solo tu

**(Now only you exist)**

E sarà che sto bene

**(And if I feel good)**

è perché non penso più

**(It is because I don’t think about)**

a chi mi ha fatto soffrire

**(who has made me suffer anymore)**

voglio solo cancellare

**(I just wanna erase)**

ora esisti solo tu

**(Now only you exist)**

**Author's Note:**

> That was it! Thanks for reading!   
> If it seems like Waverly's thoughts are a little bit confusing, then I reached my goal! I wanted this story to be focussed on Waverly's (who also serves as a focalizer) interior monologue and as we know, some thoughts can never really be structured. Also, I thought it was fitting given that Waverly really is a smart character and she has to have a brain that never really shuts up.
> 
> This story is a one-shot but I've thought about making a series because there are a few other songs that remind me of Wayhaught. Again, feel free to leave me a review, I would appreciate some feedback.


End file.
